- “IF YOU CAN’T WAIT TEN MORE MINUTES FOR YOUR SISTER, MAYBE YOU DON’T DESERVE TO GO TO COLLEGE WITH US!”
- Those were the words Kellan Rook threw at me eleven minutes before the most important application deadline of my life.
- He was the boy I’d loved for thirteen years.
- The boy who had promised we would attend the same university.
- And the boy who had never once noticed that every promise he made to me somehow depended on my older sister.
- My name is Maren Duvall, and until that night, I’d planned my entire future around Kellan.
- We had grown up together in a quiet Ohio suburb.
- Our families spent holidays together, shared summer vacations, and treated us like a couple long before either of us understood romance.
- My older sister, Corinne, was always part of our little group.
- She was a year older, but a difficult year of health problems had delayed her college plans.
- Now all three of us were preparing to leave home together.
- We had agreed to attend Lakeford University, just two hours away.
- At least, I thought we’d agreed.
- It was November first, and the deadline for my special early-decision application was approaching.
- I sat beside Kellan at our dining room table, watching the clock.
- 11:49 p.m.
- “Kellan, we need to finish.”
- He barely looked up from his phone.
- “Corinne still hasn’t answered.”
- “She’s choosing her own college major. Why does that stop us?”
- He frowned.
- “Because we promised we’d do everything together.”
- I stared at him.
- “Everything?”
- “Don’t make this difficult, Maren.”
- There it was.
- The sentence I’d heard in different forms my entire life.
- Whenever Corinne needed something, I was expected to understand.
- Whenever I needed something, I was expected to wait.
- Kellan knew Corinne couldn’t tolerate long car rides, so he always saved the front passenger seat for her.
- He remembered that she hated cilantro, preferred warm drinks, and needed extra blankets during winter.
- He knew the names of her doctors.
- He remembered every appointment.
- But after thirteen years of knowing me, he still couldn’t remember that I had a severe peanut allergy.
- Once, during a school field trip, Corinne became dizzy after running.
- Kellan carried her straight to the nurse.
- I had twisted my ankle during the same activity.
- He left me sitting beside the gym doors for forty minutes.
- “Corinne gets frightened when she’s alone,” he explained afterward.
- “You can take care of yourself.”
- I had believed him.
- Strong girls weren’t supposed to complain.
- Independent girls weren’t supposed to need anyone.
- And girls who loved their childhood sweethearts were apparently supposed to accept whatever affection was left over.
- The clock changed to 11:52.
- Kellan refreshed his messages again.
- “She’s still deciding between communications and English.”
- My stomach tightened.
- I thought about another afternoon, six months earlier.
- We’d celebrated the end of senior year with a beach trip to South Carolina.
- At dinner, I accidentally ate sauce containing crushed peanuts.
- My throat began tightening.
- I called Kellan’s name twice.
- He never turned around.
- He was kneeling beside Corinne, carefully bandaging a tiny cut on her toe.
- The restaurant manager noticed my breathing difficulties and called an ambulance.
- Kellan didn’t learn I’d been hospitalized until the following morning.
- He brought breakfast and said, “You know you’re allergic. You should’ve been more careful.”
- Then he asked whether Corinne had slept well.
- I had forgiven him.
- Not because he’d apologized.
- He hadn’t.
- I forgave him because I was terrified that admitting how much he hurt me would destroy the future I’d imagined.
- 11:54.
- My laptop displayed the application portal for Vesper Institute of Technology in Massachusetts.
- Its highly selective artificial intelligence research program had contacted me three times.
- An admissions counselor had encouraged me to apply for a special undergraduate research fellowship.
- I’d won a national computing competition and spent two summers building machine-learning models.
- Vesper was exactly where I wanted to study.
- But Kellan hated Boston.
- And he’d repeatedly told me that Lakeford was where we belonged.
- Twice, I’d told Vesper I wasn’t interested.
- Tonight was my final chance.
- I looked at Kellan.
- He was typing another message to Corinne.
- “Can you please decide? I’m waiting for you.”
- Not we.
- I’m.
- For the first time, I understood.
- He wasn’t waiting for our future.
- He was waiting for hers.
- I opened Vesper’s application, reviewed my completed materials, and clicked SUBMIT.
- A warning appeared.
- “Your application cannot be edited after submission.”
- I pressed CONFIRM.
- At 11:56 p.m., my confirmation email arrived.
- I stared at it for several seconds.
- Then I smiled.
- Four minutes before midnight, I’d finally chosen myself.
- Kellan didn’t notice.
- He was busy researching which courses might be too stressful for Corinne.
- After midnight, she finally hurried into our house, breathless and apologetic.
- “I’m so sorry! My counselor kept me late, and then I couldn’t decide.”
- Kellan immediately stood.
- “I made you some tea.”
- He pulled out her chair.
- “You shouldn’t drink anything cold. Your stomach’s been bothering you.”
- Corinne accepted the mug with a grateful smile.
- Then she noticed me.
- “Maren, did you submit everything?”
- “Yes.”
- “Great! We’ll all be together at Lakeford!”
- Kellan nodded confidently.
- “Obviously. Maren knows how important this is.”
- I said nothing.
- He continued explaining Corinne’s possible majors, employment prospects, and admission requirements.
- He’d prepared three pages of handwritten notes for her.
- Three pages.
- He didn’t even know which research field I wanted to enter.
- When Corinne finally settled on English, Kellan looked relieved.
- Then she reached toward her iced soda.
- He took it away.
- “Warm tea, remember?”
- They laughed together.
- I watched them across the table, feeling like a guest in my own home.
- Eventually, Corinne asked, “Maren, can we take a picture of our applications together?”
- “No.”
- Kellan looked up.
- “Why not?”
- “Because I didn’t apply to Lakeford.”
- His smile faded.
- “What?”
- “I applied early decision to Vesper.”
- The room fell silent.
- Corinne stared at me.
- “In Massachusetts?”
- “Yes.”
- Kellan stood so abruptly that his chair scraped across the floor.
- “Tell me you’re joking.”
- I turned my laptop toward him.
- My submission confirmation glowed on the screen.
- He read it twice.
- Then his face turned pale.
- “You can’t do that.”
- “I already did.”
- “We promised we’d stay together!”
- “You and Corinne can.”
- His fingers curled into fists.
- “You made a decision about your entire future just because you’re jealous of your sister?”
- I looked at the three pages of notes he’d written for her.
- Then at the empty space where my own plans should have been.
- “No, Kellan.”
- My voice was steadier than I expected.
- “I made it because my future matters too.”
- He stared at me as though I’d suddenly become someone he didn’t recognize.
- “Withdraw the application.”
- “No.”
- “Maren, stop being dramatic!”
- I closed my laptop.
- For thirteen years, I’d mistaken his certainty that I would stay for proof that he loved me.
- Now I finally understood the difference.
- “Kellan, you never once asked what I wanted.”
- He opened his mouth.
- I didn’t let him interrupt.
- “And you never imagined I’d have the courage to leave.”
- For the first time in our lives, the boy who always expected me to wait had absolutely nothing to say.
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TWELVE MINUTES TOO LATE, A LIFETIME OF REGRET! – “Kellan, you never once asked what I wanted. And you never imagined I’d have the courage to leave.”
